Have you ever had one of those moments -- that are way bigger than you?  When you suddenly get a glimpse of the bigger picture...and your heart wants to burst because all you feel in that exact second of time?  I had one of those times this weekend. 

It was at my "mommy hero" lunch yesterday.  Don helped me clean up the house a bit in the morning - and I laid out some fresh flowers, some pasta salad, wraps, watermelon...and I told him, "you know the big half-marathon you're preparing for tomorrow?  And you know how it's all you've talked about and trained for for weeks?  You know how much that means to you? That's how much this lunch means to me."  He smiled and understood.  And wouldnt you know, right on schedule, Cody hit the floor with 2 huge seizures right before they got there.  I tended to him and when they arrived, my hair was still wet, I was a stress case, and Cody was passed out.  Such is life. 

My heroes trickled in.  First was Michelle who lives about 10 minutes away.  Her son Riley was diagnosed with i.s. 3 months ago.  He's 9 months now.  She brought a gorgeous hydrangea for me and a gift certificate for all the moms to get a manicure!  "you're NOT supposed to do anything for ME!  I wanted to do this for YOU!"  But these are the caliber of people I shared my afternoon with.  These are moms.  They are caretakers and nurturers - and they couldn't help but care for me.  Then Janae showed up.  She lives in Woodinville and Emilie (who is a bit older than Cody) still has seizures like Cody.  Only hers are "drop" seizures often - and she literally falls to the floor instantly - if you were standing next to her you couldn't catch her they are often that sudden.  She has to wear a helmet all the time.  She is an angel.  Then Debbie showed up from Gig Harbor.  Her son Hudson is near Casey's age and was diagnosed about 6 months ago.  He is still have i.s. spasms.  Would you believe this frenzied mom took the time to cook me a meal and bring me floweres?  And finally Katie showed up from Shoreline.  Her daughter Lily is a twin - but the only one affected by i.s.  She's almost 3 and still has seizures.   

So my Saints had arrived.  All but one (Michelle) I had never met - only been online buddies with.  I've written back and forth with Janae for 2 years I think.  As you can imagine, we didn't waste a second.  We sat down and immediately started talking drugs, Dr's, heartaches, marriage.  I was in heaven.  We ate lunch and I read them my favorite poem in honor of mother's day:

When you look at me,

You will measure me by my awareness

by my response

by my age

by my development

and you may shake your head and find me lacking.

But for me, you are measuring with the wrong cup.

for I have one posession which brims and overflows

beyond all others.

I have my parents love.

This cup thy give me holds also their agony and helplessness

waiting and hoping

tears and pain

loneliness and fear.

But in the end, all these are swallowed up

in the depth of their love

which now, in each same moment,

both lets me go....

and will never let me go.

So measure me if you must....

But measure me, too, with MY cup

and you will find me.......

Full.

We got teary eyes together.  And we toasted each other with champagne glasses full of sparkling water.  We each shared our story.  I told them what was on my heart - that I was surrounded by heroes.  That my little kitchen was filled with the most amazing moms I've ever known.  And that I was sure that God was giving us a standing ovation as we sat together.  The combined mom-power in my kitchen could have run an entire country.  We talked about how every day is a marathon - only instead of running on a long flat road - it's a huge high mountain we scale every single day.  We shared the heartache we feel every moment of every day and how inescapable it is.  We talked about practical stuff like respite care, new treatments, how even doing housework is nearly impossible with a child who has seizures.  And we talked of the greater things too - God's plan.  Being mad at Him.  Trying to grapple with the future and how it may look.  Broken dreams.  And we all nodded in unison as we discussed how in this process of mothering this suffering child - we have become lost.  Our marriages have become lost.  Everything takes a distant 2nd place to simply trying to care for these fragile children. 

But we also talked about hope.  About trying to find new dreams.  About trusting that God has a huge plan for our lives....even in this.  Even in this.  We were together 5 1/2 hours!  And there wasn't 1 moment of silence!

It occurred to me about 1/2 way through our day that my home - which before this lunch was just a "house" - had become Holy ground.  And I was sure God Himself was sitting among us - invisibly reaching up and brushing away every tear that was shed.  I was sure that He had orchestrated this meeting between us moms.  And that He had planned this lunch long before I had.  And that us 5 moms would be bonded for life - a sorority of pain - but also one of perserverance, strength, dilligence, and spirit. 

One other fun element of the was the 1/2 marathon Don ran today.  My husband is an athlete.  He lives to compete in all areas of life.  When Cody was diagnosed, Don had to give up his passion of rodeo'ing because it just wasn't practical to be on the road all summer.  He sold his horse, his Dodge Ram, his horse trailer, gave away his saddle.  It was heartbreaking for him.  Then he took up golf as an outlet for his athletic side.  But again, with a Cody in your life, it's not real practical to leave for 6 hour golf sessions.  So he moved on to running.  He had never been a runner.  But he has come to love it this past year.  Usually he runs with Cody in a jogger stroller and they are known as "Team Graves" on shorter races like 5K's.  But today was a half marathon (13'ish miles) and Cody couldn't go that long in the stroller.  So Don went on his own.  We dropped him off at the site in Juanita at 7am (yawn).  He wound up jogging right past our house and so I ran up to the corner with the boys and we waited for daddy to jog by.  Mind you, this was on top of a HUGE steep hill!  Don rounded the corner in a swarm of other people who were also running or walking and there I stood with Casey in my arms screaming "Go Daddy!  Yay Daddy!  We love Daddy!"  Cody was in the car - not so much into the moment.  :)  It was so fun cuz the whole crowd parted and Don jogged through to us - while everyone around him cheered for the sight of this daddy running up to his little baby and hugging him - then he said "Happy Mother's Day!" and he was gone in a flash.  It was fun how people responded to Casey beaming as they all rounded the corner.  Then we drove to the finish line and watched Don run in.  He did GREAT!  He ran a 7:34 minute mile for 13 miles!  WOWIE!  What an accomplishment. 

Then we went home, cleaned up and headed off for church!  All in all, a great weekend.