Who knew this website would be my lifeline.  I started it as a way to keep friends relatives informed about Cody - because I didn't have time to call everyone that I wanted to.  It has blossomed, by God's grace, into a network of people I could never have imagined.

As I blogged about our 2 ER trips last week, and our tough month, these messages came in from people I have never met - never knew - until I received their email.  Emails from Dallas, Delaware, even as far away as Germany!  Thank you dear friends - and especially those whose children suffer from seizures.  You keep me afloat.  I can't fathom people praying for my son - who have never met him - only read about him on this site.  What a group of Saints the Lord has brought into our lives.  I can't imagine a child more prayed for.  It gives me peace that with all these prayers going up - God certainly is attending to Cody's every need.

"Shawna, I have been sitting at my computer crying watching the video of Cody siezing. I am so inspired and amazed by you. I am sorry that you are carrying such a heavy burden. I feel silly for the things I've been overwhelmed by this week. I hope that you get some much needed breaks and rest this week. I will keep Cody and your family in my prayers especially this week."

"I am so sorry to hear the seizures came back so bad, just know that I will be remembering your precious family in my prayers!  hugs ((((())))))"

"My son is 10 mos old and has Cerebral Palsy and Infantile Spasms. He had lack of oxygen at birth and has been seizing since birth. He is on Phenobarbitol and Topamax. I have decided not to try other meds as of yet because from what I've seen no matter what anyone tries the seizures don't go away. He has already had a grand mal seizure.  I've watched Cody's videos and read your website... I cried. I'm so new to this and my husband and I are in a mourning stage right now. I talk to God everyday and ask him to take away my son's seizures. I know God has his own time table and I have to have God as the MAIN CHARACTER in my life or I won't handle this like I should.  I think it is wonderful that you have the website for Cody. Thank you for your words of encouragment in the "What doctors won't tell you" of your website. I will pray for Cody and your family because I know what you are going through."

"Hi Shawna,
My prayers are with Cody and all of you, and for the wisdom of the doctors. When my son was young, he was on many medications at high dosages; we were constantly trying to find just the right dosage and cocktail that worked. I know how much your heart aches to see your little boy taking all these drugs with their nasty side effects. May the Lord give the doctors wisdom to control the seizures and give you strength and hope."

"Shawna,
I read your (& Cody's) story for the first time today, (through a link from a local blog that I read), and I just had to let you know that I think you are amazing. Obviously this little angel was sent to you for a reason. I hope you give yourself credit for the hard work you do every day. My prayers will be with you and Cody, he is an adorable little man by the way."

In the midst of this furnace, God has shown me the abundant life I wrote about awhile back.  It's not in a "cure"...it's not in more sleep...or more fun...or an easier life.  It's not even in these life-robbing seizures stopping.  The abundant life God promises in the Bible is simple:  more of Him.  The emails above are evidence of Him - how He meets me in this.  He sends people with loving words, tender prayers.  They carry His fingerprints. 

He offers abundance through fellowship with His people - and even more - through Himself  In the sorrow, in the muck, in the endless tears and endless seizures.  He offers abundance through Himself.  More of Him.  Deeper relationship with Him.  He is the abundant life we can have.  Doesn't mean (necessarily) that our children will be healed - although we pray for it every day - every hour.  Doesn't mean life will get easier.  It means He is able to sustain us.  HE is what we need. 

That's been a huge lesson for me.  And I don't say that lightly - or in any trite way.  For the longest time, He wasn't enough.  Cody had to be healed.  Going deeper with God was fine and all, as long as Cody didn't have any more seizures.  It's taken a long time to surrender - and to find a way to exist with the seizures.  Where was my hope?  Where was the abundant life the Bible promised?  It certainly wasn't at my house - which upon Cody's diagnosis had become a chamber of horrors.  But over time, through searching God's Word and praying for the abundance He promises - I found the gateway.  This song says it well.  It's sung at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2lAb8dHqso 

You are my supply
My breath of life
Still more awesome than I know.
You are my reward
Worth living for
Still more awesome than I know.

And all of you
Is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in you is more than enough

You're my sacrifice
Of greatest price
Still more awesome than I know.
You're my coming King
You're my everything
Still more awesome than I know.

And all of you
Is more than enough for
All of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in you is more than enough
You are more than enough.

More than all I want
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me.
More than all I know
More than all I can see
You are more than enough for me.
More than all I want
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me.
More than all I know
More than all I can see
You are more than enough.