Well my foot is feeling much better after 2 days of icing and elevating.  What a drama.  My night in the E.R. was interesting.  A saturday night in the E.R. from 9 - midnight can only be described as "a circus."  Don dropped me off and came back home with the boys - and I took a cab home.  In between, I sat in a wheel chair in the waiting room while the "crazies" came in and out.  Next to me was a teenager who'd eaten magic mushrooms.  He kept falling asleep so they made him stand up.  And he was standing inches away from me.  And he kept teetering as he fell asleep - like a giant tree that had been cut and was waiting to "timmmmmmmmmber!"  I waited for him to fall over on top of me.  I could tell he was most sorry he'd eaten those shrooms.  Oh, to be young and stupid.  I finally got my turn and was thrilled to get the X-ray report that there were no broken bones.  Until Dr. Applegate said, "well a severly torn ligament is worse than a break or a sprain."  Well, wouldn'tchaknow.....just my luck.  Don and I had tried to go out for a Valentines Day celebration at our church's Sweethearts dinner at a nice restaurant.  It was a great evening until I tried to go down the fateful stairway on the outside of our church's Lodge.  And that - was the end of the fun!

But I have to say, less and less often do I go to what I call "the dark place" when bad stuff happens.  Used to be, if something horrible happened, I'd immediately go to my "Thanks a lot, God!" place.  I don't do it anymore.  I think I've just realized that life is a series of horrible things happening in some way or another.  Finish one horrible thing and there's another one waiting around the corner.  I don't mean that in a macabre way - but in a realistic way - in a healthy way.  The Bible's pretty clear that life is full of pain and sorrow.  It's how we navigate through the pain and sorrow that matters.  And it's about finding random joys and moments of laughter amidst the pain and sorrow.  In that emergency room, I tried to practice the sacrifice of praise.  Now, mind you, I was teetering on the brink of the "dark place" which is why I started trying to find things to be grateful for.  I sat in the waiting room 2 hours.  It took another 2 hours to get x-rayed & discharged.  I had to take a taxi home and begin to figure out how and who would take care of my kids all this week.  It was a '10' on my stress scale....especially the "how do I take care of my kids" part.  Of course Cody's off school this whole week for mid-winter break. 

So I sat there in the E.R. thinking, "Shawna....you have to spin this somehow...you can't go down the dark path.  So how can we do this?  What good can there possibly be IN this?"  As I looked for it, it showed itself as it always does.  The attendant who was mopping the floors peered thru my room's curtain and said, "I've never met you or seen you before but I know lots about you!"  I appreciated his bubbly, goofy-ness in the midst of this depressing scenario.  "Is that right?" I replied with a sly grin.  "WHAT is it that you think you know, sir?"  He put his hands on his forehead as if he was reading my mind "I know that your right foot is cold....and I know you came in with two socks and now you only have one sock!"  I looked down and then laughed.  He held up my missing sock which I had taken off my hurt foot and left on the floor of the waiting room.  "YOU ARE PSYCHIC!  YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR OWN TV PROGRAM" I said.  He laughed and threw the sock my way.  Then the Dr. came in - an old guy - had to be in his late 60's - and he simply stopped with a huge grin, said "APPLETON HERE" and said, "ARE YOU THE YOUNG LADY WHO HAD SOME SILLY FALL?"  "guilty" I said.  "Look, I have a disabled child who I carry everywhere plus a baby who I carry everywhere.  PLEASE NOTICE THE LOOK OF DESPERATION ON MY FACE AS I TELL YOU IIIIIIIIII HHHHHHHAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEE TOOOOOOOOOOO BBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEE AAAABBBBBBLLLLLLLLEEEEEE TOOOOOOOOOO WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLKKKKKKKKKKKK," I screamed.  He laughed.  He asked me some very thoughtful questions about my disabled son - even asked his name.  I could tell he felt bad and he said "we'll get you walkin, promise!"  Suddenly I felt better.  I liked his jaunty attitude and big cheesy smile.  My spirits continued to lighten.  I had a bad migraine from the pain in my foot (go figure) so I yelled out "is anyone out there?"  A grumpy deep voiced man said "yes."  I said - "do you work here?"  I heard "yes."  "I have a headache."  "I'm sorry."  "I need drugs."  "I gotcha covered" and he came in with headache help.  Now I realize I'm paying through the nose for these services and that these people are being paid to be nice to me.  But I decided to be grateful for their cheerful care.  I praised the Lord for having health insurance to pay for this debacle.  I praised the Lord that this wasn't something more serious that I was admitted for.  For a husband who immediately became a rock and pitched in.  And a husband who ran out to the taxi as it pulled up in our driveway at midnight and pretty much carried me inside.  He had a huge grin (theme of the night) and told me to lay down on the couch because I needed to ice my foot.  Don is great in a crisis - that has been proven many times over in our marriage.  I love the way he takes charge and always stays positive and level headed.  I'm the opposite.  I panic, shout expletives, claim the worst, and freak out.  He put a bag of frozen spinich on my foot and put it on top of a bunch of pillows and then he put in a video for us to watch.  "you don't have to stay up with me - it's 1am!  Go to bed!  The boys will be up at 6am!!!"  "I want to.   You're my wife.  You don't feel good."  So we watched an old episode of Grey's Anatomy together (my guilty pleasure TV favorite).   Then he spent the next day doing dishes, taking both boys to church so I could have a break, helping me walk and ice my foot - he was awesome.  He stayed home from work till 9am today and took Cody to school (which I think he secretely loved....he would be a good Mr. Mom). 

So yes....I have much to be grateful for.  I have friends pitching in all week.  Cody's part-time nanny said she'd pick up the slack time. 

I'm learning so much about this crazy life we lead.  It's all about perspective.  I could have sat there in the E.R. (like I was tempted to do) and feel like I had been jinxed again - why me? - life sucks.  Or I could joke around - laugh about my bad luck - and see the beauty in the nice people and my servant-hearted husband and friends.  Now mind you, this torn ligament threw my life into a tailspin.  I literally can't take care of my own kids.  I felt my world crashing around me when I fell - my words were instantly "I can't be hurt!  I have to take care of the kids.  I CAN'T BE HURT!"  So this was no small thing to deal with.  And it still isn't.  I'm hobbling around in a fair amount of pain.  This week is nuts having to scramble for help from people who are already probably burned out helping me.  It'll cost me a bunch more in nanny money which we don't have.  Don was extra-worked.  Satan knew he could get me with this one.  But for ONCE, I didn't let him steal my mojo.  I started to praise and be grateful from the beginning and it's still keeping me afloat.  For me, this was a big victory.  My sick, fleshy, feelings-driven personality didn't win.  Now THAT'S a miracle! 

Okay, enough about my injury.  Time to go to bed.  Cody's had 2 horrible seizures today plus dozens of little ones and there are probably more to come in the night.  Gotta sleep while you can. 

We'd love prayer for his schooling situation - I won't go into detail except to say that we are trying to change his placement and would love prayer for him.  He's lost all of his picture communication skills since starting public school and we need to figure out what to do.  He's regressing, he's more stressed because of it, his negative behaviors (like eye poking especially) are flaring.  Not a great time for him.

Thanks much - have a good Tuesday!

Shawna