Hi there - wow it's been awhile.  Typically (for those of you who asked) when I don't post for a lengthy time, it's one of those 'sleep deprivation' seasons.  I don't think I've slept more than 3 hours a night for 2 weeks.  Cody up at about 1am, then again at 5am every single night.  Still.  It is absolute crazy making.  It's all gas related.  I'm so tired I don't even know how to begin dealing with it.  We see his gastro Dr. this week but I fear there is nothing more to try.  I'm just so tired.  I try to give him more melatonin right before he starts to stir every night but it seems to have lost it's effectiveness.  So I've tried benedryl, clonadine....nothing keeps him asleep.  So frustrating.

He had a 5 minute seizure Friday in the lobby of a business.  Poor little guy.  That to say - things aren't going too well for him.

I did manage to get away to Women of Faith this weekend in Seattle's Key Arena.  I go every year as many of you know.  I always rave and this year is no different.  It's a two day women's conference featuring various speakers, singers, and skits.  This year I was especially excited because Steven Curtis Chapman sang Friday night and gave his testimony.  Although I knew it would be unbearably painful, I knew I wanted (needed) to hear it.  In a nutshell, he's a very popular Christian singer whose teenage son hit his daughter with their SUV and it wound up taking her life.  This all happened in the family's driveway.  Her name was Maria and she was adoped from China.  It is a tragedy beyond words and I was interested to hear what Steven had to say.  The thing I love most about Women of Faith events is that the speakers are REAL and have all been through their share of life's trials.  Here is the story on Good Morning America & an interview with the Chapmans:  http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Story?id=5519704&page=1

Well, about a year after the accident, I was priveliged to see and hear Steven last night.  It was truly humbling and poignant to hear this dad grieve for his daughter on stage.  Since I am the mother of a child with a life threatening illness, I am drawn like a moth to a flame, to people like Steven.  I want to know how they do it.  I want to know how they're still standing.  I want to hear the story of those who are grieving so deeply - yet still living with joy and in triumph.  I was not disappointed.  What I loved was his transparency - his willingness to admit that it is SO hard still.  He has no pat answers - no "Christian-ese" platitudes.  He just honestly said that he thought he'd never sing again when Maria died.  That this has been a journey of grief - and hope.  And ultimately, he finds peace in the fact that this life is not the end.  That he will see her again.  And that despite what he 'feels' - God is faithful.  He sang one song in particular that was gut wrenching.  He said it was a song he wrote about Maria and her sister one night after trying unsuccessfully to put them to bed.  Here's the video and the fun story behind it. 

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At his concert last night. Steven said he didn't think he'd ever sing that particular song again.  But that he felt - after time has passed - that he needed to sing it because of the simple truth that he knows he WILL dance with Maria again.  And that hope - that eternal promise - is why he bravely sings it still.  It was profound.  He was amazing.  He opened with the song 'Blessed be the Name' and it has a lyric:  "He gives and takes away....He gives and takes away....my heart will choose to say....Lord blessed be Your name."  And he couldn't sing the words:  "he gives and takes away" because he broke down.  Of course so did we. 

There was so much more that blessed me, but that was the biggie.  I'll share more but it's time for bed.  I pray Cody sleeps tonight. 

Thanks for checking in,

Shawna