Hi there,

I am writing this at 11:15pm on Sunday - waiting for Don to return home with the boys.  He took them to Oregon to visit his family so I could be free to take care of my mom who had major back surgery on Friday. She had a "lumbar laminiectomy" which, in poor mans terms, means she had a lot of nerve damage in her back so they removed some stuff, shaved some stuff, added some pins, and voila -- surgery over.  She did great - but was (and is) in a lot of pain.  I handed the baton to my sister who is staying overnight with her the next few days.  It will be 6-8 weeks before my mom can even pull up her own socks!  Poor thing.  She was a trooper.  It was  looooooooong weekend.  I was at the hospital pretty much every minute.  Now I'm back home cleaning before the rest of the fam arrives so we can start off our new week with a clean house.  Getting all 4 of us ready to hit the road friday left this house in tornado mode! 

Boy I'll tell ya, hospitals NOT my favorite place.  For one, I get post traumatic stress flashbacks to our week in the hospital when Cody was diagnosed 3.5 years ago.  The smells, the equipment, etc...all take me back.  And the "labor and delivery" wing was on the 1st floor of my mom's wing...so I had to walk through it to get to the elevator to go to my mom's room.  Yet another reminder of the promise of a new baby and all the hope attached.  Another reminder of the hopes and dreams lost to Cody's illness.  Another dagger in the heart while walking thru the baby wing - is that I always wanted more than 2 children.  I always thought I"d at least have 3.  Yet with Cody's problems there's just no way I could handle another child.  One more thing sacrificed at the altar of infantile spasms - my dream of more children.  I am desperately in love with the two I have - but that's why it hurts all the more to be limited to these two.  Being a mom is the best job and it is what I'm meant to do.  I had so wanted a daughter someday.  Walking through that baby wing and seeing the new parents with their bundles was a crushing blow.  Grief - it hits you when you least expect it.  Luckily I didn't have much time to dwell on it because I was busy with mom. 

At the risk of sounding way negative and whiney, I'll move on.  The boys had a great time with Don's parents, sisters and their families.  Cody's seizures have gone down - thankfully!  Over the last two days he only had a handfull of small seizures.  Whew! 

We joined a new playgym and the boys LOVE it.  We go 2-3 times a week.  Cody's new trick is trying to run - which is great, but also kinda scary!  He gets going and can't really handle it so he either falls, or careens into a wall.  But he always comes out of it with his big grin and desire to run again!  So one of the 'coaches' and I grab each of Cody's hands and run with him across the entire gym.  Cody's little feet work a mile a minute - and he laughs out loud - and turns around to go across again!  It's so cute and so fun - coming from the boy who we were told "would never walk."  Yay Cody!!! 

Well that's it for now, I have a bit more to clean up before the men hit.  Of course all my efforts will be undone by 8am tomorrow when both boys get up and attack the house.  But that's the way it goes in this season of life with little ones!

Update:  It's 1:10am.  Cody arrived home from Oregon at midnight.  Woke up in the car - as awake as the energizer bunny.  I am sooooooooo tired.  Good night all.  Shawna