Hi there everyone.  I wanted to report that Cody did much better today - only 1 seizure.  Now that he's out of school, he seems to really be content and stabilized at home.  He wakes up when he wants to instead of being woken up to go to school.  If he needs to rest, he can lay down for a catnap.  If he has a seizure he can recover in a quiet, dark room that's familiar and filled with his favorite music, lavendar pillows, and mom laying with him.  And he can have 100% consistency in his instruction which is really important for him given all he's working against to try to develop. 

There was SUCH a cool moment today between he and Casey.  They were both sitting on my lap - each laying on a shoulder of mine so they were facing each other.  The room was quiet - they were wrapped in blankets.  And Casey leaned over and put his face on Cody's chest so he was inches away from Cody's face - looking up at him.  Cody touched Casey's cheek and stared at him with great eye contact.   

Then Cody let out one of his trademark growls - soft and low - "grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."  He does this when he's content - just a little soft growl.  I think he likes the feel of it in his throat.  Casey paused a beat, kept staring at big brother, and let out an identical grooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwl right back at Cody.  They kept looking at each other - eyes locked.  Cody took his turn and "grrrrrrrrrrrrr"'d to Casey.  Casey did it right back.  I teared up watching them - having an actual moment of acknowledgement and interaction. 

It lasted a few minutes, this exchange.  Both were smiling.  Both faces inches away from each other.  I have no doubt it was the first time Casey has ever felt truly "seen" by Cody.  It dawned on me - "this little boy will be Cody's teacher."  It was so heartwarming and kind of revolutionary to think of.  Casey can already speak Cody's language - his "grrrrrrrrrrrrr" identical to his brother's.  I imagined them coming up with their own private language - maybe even Casey will be the only one to understand what Cody needs or wants!  I already knew that Casey would be a good model for Cody in terms of cody being able to see another child playing with toys, etc.  But I had never seen any actual "engagement" before - where I was inspired to think that maybe these two will have a relationship that's more intimate and deeper than any other.  I pray it's so.  It gives me hope. 

Don and I feared so much when we decided to get pregnant again.  Would Casey be sick like Cody?  Would it be too much having a special needs child plus a new little one?  Would Casey have a tough life making all the sacrifices that come along with a sick brother?  Today it all melted away with one "grrrrrrrrr."  Casey is meant to be in his brother's life - perhaps to even lead Cody out of isolation and into real engagement with the world.  Lord, let this little boy reach inside that lonely, separate world Cody lives in - let Casey find the Cody that's trapped inside - and use Casey to help his brother burst out of the chains that hold him so far away from us. 

One other time today, Cody was sitting on the couch staring into oblivion as he often does.  Casey walked up and stood nose to nose - and pressed his lips against Cody's.  And Cody let him.  Don and I looked on in pure and utter shock.  "Did you see that?"  "YEAH!!!!"  Then Casey walked away, on to other important things like books, rubber balls, elmo.  But for that moment, he reached out to his brother and made contact. 

Today was a day of miracles.

with love, Shawna